CLIFF NOTES AT BOTTOM

Here is the situation and I want to know if I am in the wrong or not as it seems from the other side that I am and I want to see what some other people not involved think about it.

Tonight at about 7:30 I get a phone call from my girlfriend. Her friend has been sick all week with a fever and just overall sick pretty bad. She made it to a walk in clinic and they said that she needs to go to the hospital. They gave her an IV and a bag and pretty much told her to find her own way there. So the phone call was for me to go and get my GF and then go and get her friend.

Now I have a little problem with hospitals. I suffer from some stomach problems and have spent a fair amount of time visiting the doctors and the hospital for tests and such over the years. Ive not had a good or even tolerable experience at a hospital in my life. This mixed up with my fear of germs and sick people in general this is a situation that I pretty much dread. Thinking about spending time in a place full of sick people, in the height of cold and flu season makes my skin crawl. Ive been sick enough in my life and have enough problems that doing this scares me a lot.

So I go and get my GF from work to take her to the clinic and she tells me that there is a cab there waiting to take her friend to the hospital. I tell her that I am not comfortable with the situation of having someone very sick around me and she said that they could take the cab. Neither her nor her friend had any money so I gave my GF $40 to cover the cab ride there and any medication that might be needed if it wasnt free.

Aparently that wasnt the right thing to do. It was made apparent about 30 min later that Im an asshole becuase I didnt drive them to the hospital and that they had to wait for a taxi. Which I was told was already on its way or already there. I was also told that them taking the taxi would be fine. It was my GF who said that it was an option and I thought that it was the most suitable one.

So I want to know what you guys think about this. I know my fear of hospitals and germs and such is irrational. Im well aware of that and I dont like to feel or think this way. My GF is also very aware of it and she makes fun of me about it all the time. However tonight when she realised how real it was she didnt like that at all. Im not a germaphobe or anything. I dont wash my hands 100 times a day or live in a bubble, I just do my best to avoid being sick by being careful. This in my oppinion is like running into the lion's den by going to the hospital at this time of year. Espeically since just 2 days ago I got over having a stomach bug myself.

So what do you guys think? Did I do a decent thing or did I not do enough and am I an asshole?

CLIFF NOTES: GF's friend is sick. Needs to go to hospital. Im scared shitless of hospitals. GF says a taxi can get them from the clinic to the hospital. I drop my GF off and give $40 to cover taxi and any other cost. GF is very upset that I didnt take them to the hospital and they took a taxi even though she was the one who said a taxi would be fine.

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Little of column A and a little of column B.

Obviously, from the boyfriend standpoint ... that's absolutely not the thing you're suppose to do ... whatever seems to be the easiest option for you that isn't for her is the wrong thing to do. And, I'm sure that's the way she sees it.

At the same time, she shouldn't have made it seem like it was all cool beans.

In any case ... it sounds like you should do something about that phobia ... like get shots and take better care of yourself, for starters. Immunizations help a lot, especially if you're someone who, apparently, has a weak immune system.

But, overall ... Sorry to say, I think you're more on the wrong side in this situation. But, you should, at the least, talk to her about acting like things are okay when they aren't. I'm sure if she was more adamant, you would have taken her and her friend to the hospital. Then again ... you probably should have just done it anyway.

Does that help?

You're definitly not in the wrong IMO.
You're girlfriend knows your situation with hospitals and being sick and all that, she said the alternative was perfectly okay AND you paid for said alternative (plus extra money for any medication you said? dude, you went beyond the call of duty there if you ask me).

If she thought you were in the wrong then she should have said so from the start. It sounds to me like her friend probably said ugly things about you and she all of a sudden decided, "you know what? you're right, he's an asshole."

My 2 cents.

One, its HER friend. Now if had been YOUR girlfriend, then you are in that boat alone, my friend.

Two, while from her perspective its easy to see that you just giving her money and sending her off in a cab was an asshole thing to do. She obviously didn't view things clearly from your perspective. Hospitals scare the crap out of you and you just got over being pretty sick yourself which means your immune system is at a pretty low point now.

Fact remains, she'll get over it. And if she doesn't, you two need to sit down and talk about priorities. Driving my gf's sick friend to the hospital wouldn't be one of mine. Trying to stay healthy as to not get sick and miss work and therefore lose out on more money in the strict economic times would be a big priority for me.

If her priority is her friend, thats good. And its not like you told her no, because that would be violating her priority.

Well I got an update. After like 9 hours at the hospital they finally got called. She didnt have an IV bag she was told that the clinic called the hospital to tell them they needed one ASAP. However when she got there 4 hours later she got a Pedilite freezee. About an hour and a half ago they went to the 2nd waiting room where they sat for another hour where she finally got an IV and some stuff to drink. The IV is going to take another hour. So my GF called me and told me to go to bed becuase they are still gonna be there for a while. She has $26 left so that should cover taxi back to her friend's place.

I brought up to her the point that I dont understand why she is upset about the whole taxi thing since she brought it up and she told me she didnt want to argue with me about me driving them so that was the reason. I wouldnt of argued. If she just would of said that it was imparitive for me to drive I would of done that without question. I guess she said one thing but meant something else, which Im not good at picking up on.

I understand where she is coming from, but I also dont think that she thought about my side. Nevertheless I feel like an asshole and in retrospect would of acted differently if had to do it again.

If it was my GF who needed to go to the hospital with something serious like this I would be the first in line to go and drive her there, wait as long as it would take and make sure that every possible step is taken so that she is healthy, safe and getting the treatment and respect that she deserves as a Canadian citizen. However it being her friend I think that what I did by giving money and driving her to get her friend was a good thing and didnt think that it would come off as assholish, but I do now see how it can come off as that. I appoligised to her about it and explained that it wasnt the right thing to do.

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