All my 'Merican bros and hos out there, do you guys realize that by this time next year we're going to be tit deep in the stinky perverted, mud-slinging, political swamp that is our Presidential race? Oh, what times we'll have.... but until then, it's fun to speculate and discuss who has the balls to be the President.

First, lets discuss the GOP candidates. Clusterfuck would be a word to describe it. But, when you trim the fat from the stampede of GOP potential candidates, only two names really stick out to me. Michelle Bachmann and Mitt "the Clit" Romney. Both potential candidates represent two sides of the same coin.
Bachmann is, of course, the Tea Party sweet heart, the angry outsider, the "family values" conservative who wants to shrink government just enough so it can fit inside a woman's uterus to stop an abortion. I find it quite ironic that the strongest female candidate this season wants to actually roll women's rights back to before Roe vs. Wade and has boasted in public that in her private life she is almost completely subservient to her husband. Oh, and she's also against abortion in the case of rape, incest, and endangerment to the life of the mother. I wont mention the fact that she is against against any kind of government spending.... unless, of course, that spending takes the form of $260,000 in government subsidies to her farm or government subsidies to her husband's "Pray the Gay Away" clinic, then she's a-ok with that spending. And while we're on the subject of her husband... I guess I'd like to see the first gay man in the White House if they win. Make no bones about it, Marcus Bachmann is gay. Gay gay gay gay gay. Gayer than eight guys blowing nine guys. Gayer than a penis fountain that sprays glitter, confetti, and a bold yet subtle vintage 2004 Shiraz. Gayer than a bowl cut on a woman. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Now, I wouldn't really care if he was any average Joe. If he wants to stay in the closet, I can respect and, even in some cases, support it. We live in a world where on the other side of the planet gay men and women are being executed because of the way they were born, so it's ok to stay in the closet in this day and age until you are personally ready to come out, imo. Buuuuuuuuuuuut, if you are in the closet, it's not ok to cast gays as villains and "barbarians" and even condone bullying of gay teens, I draw the line there. It's very clear that Marcus Bachmann is gay... and I'm not just saying that because he is very fey and femmie. I can't stand that stereotype of the feminine gay man. I'm saying that because we've all seen this movie before. It's the movie where the crazy-anti-gay-religious-nut-is-actually-taking-it-in-the-butt-while-publicly-calling-homosexuality-a-sin-and-a-abomination and we all know how it ends... with a mouthful of bullshit and jizzum.

Then we have Mitt Romney who stands for... ummmmm, who exactly? He tends to tailor his opinions to whoever he is standing next to at the time, to make himself seem like a sensible moderate man. However, he believes the rich need the "leash of government" removed so they can run wild and create jobs everywhere. How shall the rich be unleashed? Why, through tax cuts and dipping into the social security fund. Besides, social security is a huge part of the budget anyway. Hmmm? Whats that? Social Security isn't actually part of the yearly budget? It's actually its own separate entity that is paid into by the payroll tax, a separate tax from the rest of federal and state taxes? Whats that? It's actually illegal for that fun to get dipped into? Whatever, when has a President since... well, Nixon, given a fuck about the law. Yenywho, he believes that the rich are the job creators... which fact and reality actually would have to disagree with that. You see, the CEOs of this country have actually been cutting jobs and sending them overseas. Yeah, the rich create a shitload of jobs... just not in America. Herman Cain said we need to end unions to make America more attractive to business owners. I don't know about you, but I kinda like not being paid 18 cents an hour, not only receiving the privilege of a bathroom break after three years of work, and having weekends. That's kinda what makes America great. Hey, here's an idea! How about any "American" business that doesn't pay taxes and has an offshore tax haven to avoid doing so loses any and all fat ass government contracts and subsidies! But that'd be a sensible (and historically proven) method for going towards the solution of our problem, so of course Mitt Romney is against it because... why? Because he's getting paid to think that.

There on the Democratic side we have Obama, who is more disappointing than anything George Lucas has touched in the past decade or so. Obama is the king of compromise... and by compromise I mean he not only gives the Republicans in the House everything they want, but actually gives them more than they bargained for. Why? Well, our president is a moderate, don't ya know, and if there is one thing the people love it's a moderate man. Oh, except for the majority of the country that actually voted for Obama based on the most liberal and progressive campaign since JFK ran against Nixon. But, Obama doesn't actually give a shit about his base. He never really did... unless he needs them. So, expect a lot a of pretty speeches with no substance to follow this season from Obama. In terms of foreign and most of his domestic policy, he's basically George W. Bush with a dark tan. Prove me wrong. Now, the only saving grace is that he is more of social liberal than either of the leading GOP candidates. DADT repeal was a big win, health care legislation (although weak and half assed) was a big win, the stimulus (also half-assed and riddled with bullshit compromise) was a big win. The CBO says it saved 3 million jobs and counting. However... I can't really point to anything else the President nailed. Osama Bin Laden I guess... but that was kind of over shadowed by the fact that we are now currently bombing, what, five countries? Don't forget, he won the peace prize ya know. Also, don't forget he caved on tax cuts. Don't forget he caved on civilian trials for 9/11 planners. Don't forget he caved on climate change legislation. Don't forget he caved on the budget plan. Don't forget he is currently caving on financial reform. Don't forget he caved on almost everything.

If there is one thing Americans love, it's a strong leader. I don't see one running this time.

Ah, well, that was fun to get off my chest while I lie here sick in bed. Yenywho, that's just how I feel in a few short paragraphs. My arguments are a little more nuanced than that, and I'm probably more than a little misinformed... but that's what makes forums so fun, the debate! So, what do y'all think about the campaign that's going to be here and gone before we know it!

Yeah, I don't plan on voting at all because everyone looks god awful to me. If I do, it will be a write in for whatever politician I don't despise, which is currently no one at the moment. Oh, and I'm also pants-shittingly scared of Sarah Palin. You just know she's going to run, she's just treating it like a movie opening with a fucking buold up to the big event, the annoying cock tease. She's eating up all of the media's attention at this point and I'm scared she actually has a shot. I swear, if she somehow wins, I'm gonna move to fucking Mexico because I've just about had it with this crap.

The Republican party is full of crap and Obama is a massive disappointment. It's sad that the best thing I can say at this point is that at least Donald Trump was only joking about running.

So basically, the 2012 presidential campaign is fucked?

I'd say that Obama would seem like a best bet, but since everyone's disappointed in what he's done...then...fuck it. I guess I'll just have to hope that Sarah doesn't get elected.

Seriously, that happens, and I'll believe that Armageddon will follow suit.

I'm not saying don't vote! For God's sake! VOTE! It's the only way to make a difference. That's what makes you a US citizen!

It's just that this election, it seems you have to hold your nose and go with the least bad choice and that would be Obama.

People need to focus on Ron Paul. He's like the Rodney Dangerfield of republicans in terms of popularity. Out of all the 3 I believe he has the best mind to lead this country. Read and watch his speeches, and you'll join his band wagon of misfits.

I don't think he's a legitimate candidate as of now, but he'll break into the mainstream just in time. I hope the republicans give him a shot.

I'd love to, but I'm not within the voting age.

That and I'm in Canada, not America.

Go back to your spot under the hat. We need you to hold that up.

The sun will scorch your ass anyways.

If Libertarianism wasn't a bullshit fantasy, then yeah, Ron Paul would be great. He's another one of these "the government is bad and has never done anything good, so lets get rid of it" kind of guys.

I dunno, I thought highways are pretty awesome. So are free public schools, national parks, police, firemen, trains, buses, libraries, medicare, social security, the FDA, the EPA, the Bureau of Consumer Protection, the army, public works programs, building codes, financial regulation, protection of worker's rights, protection of the rights of minorities, etc. All that stuff is pretty kewl with me.

But yeah, I know Ron Paul is not a one-dimensional guy like most of the GOP, but he really does epitomize why Libertarianism is bullshit. You can make that word fit anything and everything. You can use that word to justify anything. What is Libertarianism but just an excuse for selfishness. Seriously? Define Libertarianism for me.

He's so wrapped up in this anti government thing that on financial reform, he said "I'm for more regulation... .of the Federal Reserve!" What the fuck? Yeah, the Federal Reserve is fucked up... but the reason it is fucked up is because it is in the pocket of Wall Street! The Fed didn't cause the crash! Massive deregulation from Reagan on caused the banks to assume more and more risk for short term gains by using complicated derivative formulas, predatory lending, and toxic CD shell games! I mean fuck! Bear Stearns was operating at close too 100 to 1 leverage for Christ's sake when it collapsed! That means for every dollar they had, they could bet 100 on the stock market through a derivative, like a fucking casino. The maximum leverage an investment bank should have to stay healthy is 12 to 1... and that's pushing the envelope. That's the problem though, there are no investment banks or commercial banks anymore... they're all the same thing now! Super zombie banks that are too big to fail and own all of our asses. The best part, those bets were insured by other collection agencies who would then make bank if the toxic assets they knew were toxic failed. And the rating agencies are paid by the people their supposed to give nonbiased ratings too! That's like the home team in baseball hiring the umpires and paying them based on how that home baseball team who hired them perceives their performance. And Ron Paul wants the Fed to be regulated more instead?! Get the fuck out, Ron Paul, you crazy old man.

If anybody should be running for president, it's Bernie Sanders or Dr. Howard Dean. These men are lions and true tribunes of the people.

Mitt Romney is a puppet politician's puppet politician. He flipflops like the footwear of the same name. And a huge number of Mormons will vote for him, simply because he claims the same religion. Mormons love finding someone to tell them what their opinions are, and nothing pleases them more than supporting other Mormons and people from Utah. It's their greatest source of pride. I was raised LDS and I have lived in Utah since 1990. I know whereof I speak.

I also am terrified that Palin might get elected. I will defect if she is.

I just...hope we can someone who works as well as Obama talked. Man, did I get taken in by all his hope and change tripe.

To be honest, there's a lot of parallel's between Clinton's first term and Obama's term so far.

There's also not a lot you can do if two branches of the government are made up of individuals who refuse to work with you. I mean, at the very least he got them to talk about those issues.

If the Senate and House change enough seats where there are individuals who aren't just going to stonewall any sort of (what I'd consider) positive movement, then chances are we'd see something more as a result.

People should remember it's a three branch system ... not a three branch hierarchy. The president doesn't tell everyone what to do. His power, in terms of country change, begins and ends with talking.

Obama's administration could have said "NO MY WAY OR NO WAY" all they wanted, it would have just led to more shit not getting any resolution. (Which is what normally happens, as a result issues drag out for decades.)

It's kinda weird how everyone thinks the guy is going to come in and clean up a 8+ year mess in less than 4, especially when the majority of that time has been nothing but stonewalling.

For crying out loud, people in the house and senate are actively destroying the country in various ways just so the guy looks bad in public election.

I still think he's a better option than many of the opposing potential candidates. Most of those individuals are proposing ludicrous ideas that just take us further down the road that was started in the 70s.

I'm pretty sure we've already seen one of the worst rand administrations in modern American history with the previous administration ... is this one really so bad in comparison to what we just had? They are trying to change these things ... but it's politics. People always stand in the way of things that financially threaten them. And that's what's happening. If you expected any of these things to happen over night then you're more than a little naive. It takes a lot longer to build these kinds of things up than it does to tear them down. And people have spent 30+ years preparing what happened in the last 12 or so years.

As it stands right now I'm still voting Obama. I know a lot of people think he hasn't done much but with the mess the previous administration made (and no I'm not putting all of the blame on Bush; just most ) I didn't expect us to bounce back in four years. And there's also the fact that the Republican party has been a joke for quite some time now.

Now Rick Perry is running

Geez, this is the same guy who threatens to leave the Union every other week when he doesn't like something Washington says. Could you really say anything more selfish and treacherous in this day and age?

Well, also, don't forget that Rick Perry believes the power of prayer can fix the nations woes. How many brown people do you think will get real blow'd up if he becomes president? It would be damn entertaining, though. I kinda just was him elected to see what crazy shit our country can do.

Or maybe we need a good Caligula type figure to really make the USA go out with a bang! I want a President who will do a punchbowl of crystal meth at the next press conference and then have an orgy in the Lincoln Monument's lap. If I was President, that's what I'd do. I'd make sure I was flying double birds around my head whenever cameras were around so every single picture of me ever would have to be blurred and nobody would really know what I looked like (like Hirohito). I think instead of asking a country to relinquish it's arsenal and play nice like Bush kinda did with Iraq and Obama did with Iran, I'd just punch a horse to death on national TV dressed as one part of the Nasty Boys and just point at the camera menacingly every so often... show them I mean business. Our solution to competing with the rest of the world's more efficient public transportation would just be to install huge slip n' slides between major cities. Instead of money, everybody would get paid in kisses.

Vote for Danimal, join the collective.

I think the democrats need to get a landslide win, as the republicans are nothing but a pain in the ass in this administration. And don't get me started on pRick Perry, if he is elected president, I can only hope that America is forced out of the world's mightiest nation spot.

lol

It's obvious you don't live here, cause if you did, you wouldn't be picking a side by party. They're both filled with worthless dipshits and children.

Both sides definitely have problems, but one is worse than the other...the worse side being the Republicans.

I wouldn't be so sure. The Democrats seem to lack a spine now, so basically the reason the Republicans keep coming out on top is due to the Democrats.

Republican control of congress and Obama's insistence on being friendly to both parties is the problem.

Also...any Democrat inaction doesn't equate to the views of Republicans. What I mean is...a Republican wanting to ban gay marriage isn't the fault of a Democrat.