Just as a warning I'm going to admit right now that I'm a smark; and a really bad one at that. So if it sounds like I'm over analyzing things and being harsh I just want to apologize now.
Mania was near perfect but those final two matches muddied up the rest for me. The triple threat was decent although I'm sick of the big gold belt being passed back and forth between Edge and Cena for the past few months just to pad their title wins.... But wtf happened with HHH and Orton? That match lost my attention the moment Orton hit the RKO less then a minute in and then H hit the pedigree right afterwards. Like who thought the pacing and finish to that match was a good idea? It did absolutely nothing good for either of them; instead it left Orton looking like H's bitch and leaves H looking bad because now not only does he have the McMahon's in his back pocket on tv, but he's got the gold too. He's only going to get stale by keeping the gold. Where the hell was Legacy? A few of my friends were predicting a McMahon to turn on H but I thought that wouldn't make any sense and I'm glad it didn't happen, but where the hell where Cody and Ted?!?!? Ok so enough with the bad, now the good.
-Money in the bank was a great start to Mania. I really dug the Bret Hart color scheme CM Punk was rocking and I was glad he was my pick and that he won. With that said though, props to Kofi for having the best spots of the match and outshined Shelton. A bunch of us marked out for Finley's entrance attire from WCW.
-Divas battle royal had the most predictable finish, but in a great way. I love the ridiculous Wrestlemania moments like these and I don't think I'll ever be about to forget Santino after tonight lol.
-Ricky Steamboat, you still have it sir! I assumed Ricky would carry the legends' weight, but Piper was taking bumps that I would never have expected from him. I was surprised though to see Jericho win clean over everyone. Although when I saw Mickey Rourke at ringside I kind of had a feeling that the whole thing was just to actually get him in the ring somehow.
-Matt And Jeff finally gave us the match they needed to give us which was all I would ever ask of them. Glad to see Matt go over which I think is a really smart move. But if Matt was to do anything with himself now would be it, but the draft is coming up which has killed more potential pushes than I can remember.
-JBL v Rey. Ok so I said JBL over Rey but before the match went on a friend said that this might be JBL's last Mania and they were in Houston. but the second I saw Rey in the Joker get up I switched my decision simply based on the fact that he was dressed like the Joker; and could you really blame me?
-Taker v Michaels. Wow....WOW!!! These guys tore the house down which was expected. Match of the night for me. These two were able to tell a story with their match and had everyone in the room on the edge of their seats and standing by the finish. I liked the fact that Taker didn't do anything special for an entrance to try and top HBK's (which I rolled my eyes at tbh). I get it Shawn, you found god... But you aren't the second coming so just stop cramming it down our throats. Glad to see the streak survive and while its asking a lot, I would love to see the Dead Man hit 20-0. Oddly enough half way through the match my friend Vinny said it would be sweet to see Shawn go for a moonsault and Taker catch him for the Tombstone; I shit you not folks.
-Edge v Show v Cena. Ok while I don't care for Cena at all I gotta give him some credit; that was his best Mania entrance ever with the old theme and clones..... And then the trumpets played and it was lost. The match was pretty paint by numbers but it wasn't aweful. We all got a laugh from Big Show doing the Andre spot and then when he yelled "ref, get me the hell out!" And then Cena won the world....AGAIN.... So much for prestige.
-Trips v Orton. All week I've had it in my head that H should just come out, no nonsense, no spitting, reach the ring, drop the belt and make a bee line for Randy... Well Trips comes out and I gotta say the mirror thing was cool (not Austin v Bret cool, but very close). And the second a guy handed him a water bottle I sighed a little cause I just thought they idea of him putting his back to Orton (even for a second) kind of kills they hype leading in. Strictly kayfabe here: if a guy beat up my family, assaulted my wife several times and kissed her while I had to watch him do it; I wouldn't bother with the typical water spit routine and I'd take the fight to him as soon as I lock eyes with him. But no then H continued to go to the corner and do his corner pose over Randy (again making him look superior). By the time the bell rung I found myself not even caring what was going on until Randy hit the RKO which all of us in unison shouted "already?!?" Only to be followed by more confusion for the pedigree shortly there after. It was like they wrote the match backwards. Another annoyance: the weird stipulations tied to the match which were as confusing as a late WCW Vince Russo match.We want to see HHH tear Orton apart and we can't? Not even at Mania? Not even with Vince backing HHH?!? Like WTF? So when Randy grabbed the sledge and the ref went down I thought "sweet this match is going to pick up and might live up to Taker Shawn just yet". 3 minutes later the match was over with a sledge shot from H and a pedigree.
All in all though I'd say it was a solid 8/10. It was a great show up until the very end, but I can't let that taint the solid work from everyone else on the card and it wouldn't be fair to expect a better match after HBK and Taker. This year topped last year though and that's always a good thing. I also am a little proud of myself that I was able to call most of the card (counting last second changes prior to the actual match starting). I was only wrong with the world title matches and Jericho (tag titles didn't air so they don't count
) making me 5-3.
Sheep Cannon: (noun) A cannon discreetly disguised as a harmless sheep.
Usage: See issue Deadpool #16: Assignment in Greece
I hate you Grant Morrison, your package, and everything about you.